Relapse and Recap

Hello Blogsville, Ok. So I ate pizza today. Yeah. You heard me right. Pizza. See it seems like I am relapsing and I have to nip this madness in the bud before it destroys my weightloss aspirations. See, I had yogurt (which unfortunately was sweetened as I like my yougurt to be greek and very tart) and plenty of fruit that I bought from costco. Its this cut up fruit salad in a bowl that has mangoes, cantaloup, honey dew and pineapples all cut up. Then I had a banana. I couldnt find any rotisserrie chicken at costco and so I have been eating tilapia fish fillet. I just cook it in a non stick pan with very little oil. And then eat it with my salad. So all last week I did well and sunday night I was to have pasta but oh my no whole grain pasta. So I had to settle for white pasta. The next morning I had white rice, vegetables and stew. Yeah and I had no lunch cause I shopped all afternoon. 4 stores and 1000 dollars of merchandise and a lot of leg and arm work. Yeah. And then I went home and my sis had cooked this devlish jollof rice. I ate some and splurged on the oven dried beef and then went to bed. Monday I continued my diet stuff and diddnt have much of an apetite due to the cold I have been battling. Tuesday I went gaga. No breakfast. Lunch was eba and vegetable soup. Now Eba is high in calories but also high in fiber. And dinner, I diddnt plan to eat cause I felt full but then after spring cleaning my room and doing a mountain of laundry, Hunger pangs hit me at 10pm and I settled for the only thing I could lay my hands on which was some indomie noodles. Was a 520 calories pack. So I broke the rule of eating most of my calories during the day and tappering off as the day advances into the night. So I need to go back to the drawing board and stick to the rules. So tommorrow is another day to start afresh. In positive news, I have a new stash of apple sauce. Ok. Now. To the recap. I am going to attempt to tell the story of how I got here. See 2006/2007 I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, insomnia and I received a mix of drugs to deal with these. One of the drugs was Ambien and reports have shown that Ambien can lead to an onset of NSRED. I took Ambien for 2-3 years approx. In 07/08 my sister and I were housemates in Chico State and one night she stayed up to study all night. Something we call TDB (meaning till day breaks). According to her, I had gone to the fridge 3-4 times to eat withing 5 hours. She attested that I was alseep/awake during these episodes. She then asked me a question "Ozi are you this hungry" and this statement marks the first time I have an awareness that I am eating at night. Never knew I was doing something like this. 2009, I graduate from college and move home and now I know that I am really doing something really wrong. Every morning, my bed had particles of food in it and I have no recollection of eathing the food. As a rule, I am never hungry in the morning. Also, I am very strict with what I eat cause I know that at night, the strange zoombism would start and I would negate all the hard work. I also became an astute member of 24 hour fitness and would exercise 5 times a week so I became my fittest and I was healthy despite my issues. I was about 210 pounds then. 2010 I started graduate school. Increasing stress, no time for exercise and all and I started packing on the pounds. Slowly but surely. I would exercise whenever I had a chance, particularly during breaks but never enough to negate the damage I did at night. The fridge was very close to my room and I had time too cook all sorts so I ate and ate and ate (at night though). And I put up attempts to lose the weight but I gradually lost the battle. So steady weight gain. Ok. 2012 I am done with grad school and I am 226pounds. I am ashamed of it but nothing I can do. NSRED continues. Plus stress. Lots of stress with job hunting. 2014 working and schooling concurrently. Now even more stress. But something happens. August 14 I believe I hurt my back at work. Spine MD tells me arthritis, DDD, back older than body. Bottom line LOSE WEIGHT. I am helpless and cry. Tell my sister who advises me to go to my primary and ask for help. I make the appointment. I see him and attempt to tell him but shyness and shame holds me back. He then tells me to write him and email and tell him whatever I want to say. I believe this saved my life. I write him. He responds with more questions about my night eating brouhaha. I tell him. He comes up with Binge eating disorder extreme as the diagnosis. I start to research binge eating and question it because as rule I dont binge during the day. During my research I came across NSRED and then I brought it up with him. He agreed. Started me on Lamictal 25 mg and advanced to 50mg. And now I sleep through the night and wake up ravenous. So its going good. So today I had my first accupuncture appointment. And going again on friday. and I am loving it. So thats it.