OK so tomorrow is thanksgiving and I have so so much to be thankful for. So much. Chief on this list is that I have some control of the madness that has afflicted me all these years. I am now able to deal with the shame, the anxiety and the unhappiness that it has caused me. This is something I am extremely thankful about. Thankful for school, for a job and for the promise of a bright future.
So yesterday I had some tummy ache because I had taken my pain pills without food. (and by the way I am still dealing with my back issue). So I didn't have breakfast until 1030am. Breakfast was an 80 calories greek yogurt with 2 50calories pack of original apple sauce. At 12 noon, I had a pack of 130 calories baked lays potato chips and 3 saltine crackers. I will put that as 200 calories.
At 4pm I was hungry so I dived into my decadent salad of spring mix, shredded coconut, raisen, sliced sweetened almonds and my Nigerian style hummus. Yummylicious. Then I began to crave goat meat pepper soup. Oh my I could even smell it. It was etched deeply into my conciouness. So I stopped at the grocery store and searched for goat meat and al I could find was mutton which is lamb meat. I cooked the meat and then went to my sisters house to take the spices for the pepper soup. My soup was success. Now to the temptation aspect. While at the store my spirit began to crave sweets. Seriously. There is a small sweet section just by the checkout and my roving eyes stopped at a 7 member pack of tootsie roll that went for 50cents and totaled 150 calories. It was automatic. I don't know how it happened. My body just magnetized the tootsie and I ate the whole thing. Then in my fridge my BIL left some sugar wafers and again the automatic movements happened. I found myself eating approximately 300 cals of this. I need help with my sweet tooth and please don't tell me not to eat sweets because YESS I love sweets. I just need help with how to manage sweets. HEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
Ok. So the foodist in me is thinking up a recipie. You see I have some rotiseerie chicken in the fridge and I bought some avocado yesterday. I am dreaming up a dip of chicken, avocado, maybe some beans and whatever my mind tell me is just right. I will tell you all about it soon. Also coming up is something I call "HOnest Food". Yeah. Too much dishonesty in the world today. We need some truth and I will be exposing a lot of the deception out there today. Ave gatta run now. Its time for clinicals. Wish me well.
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